When You Suffer

How do you define adversaries? What are the instances that one can say that they have overcome an adversary. Truth be told, we face different trials every day. Some is too hard to handle and some is light as a feather. But then, they are still adversaries that define who we are and how we handle it. In life we have to face it in order for us to be stronger, wiser and tougher. Come to think of it, bulletproof is not invented if the gun was not as deadly as it is.

My life’s biggest adversary was when my parents died. They are too precious to me. They are my world and the reason why I keep on striving hard to be a better person. Then suddenly, at the age of 18, my world turned upside down. My father died, the papa’s girl lost her dad. And after two years my mother died too. It was tragic and I can’t even define what I feel. I feel numb, I want to be alone. I want to fly away in a place where I can reminisce the day’s with my father and mother. But I cannot do that, reality sucks but it is reality. We cannot undo what has happened, the only thing we can do is to deal with it day by day. I kept the pain in my heart. Continue to live with it. I hardly smile, laugh and mingle. I have given other people the best poker face I can give. But alone in my room, I will wake up in the middle of the night crying. I keep on dreaming about them, there smile, the little things that they do and our bonds. It really hurts.

Time and time again. I keep on living. How did I cope up? How did I overcome it? There are three things that help a lot- my faith, support system and self. My faith has keep me going, I do believe God has purpose for everything, I keep on reminding myself “everything works together for those who love God”. God loves me, I know he does. He will never leave my side, he is there. It is the reason I was able to move on. Then my support system my family and friends, they keep on giving me company. They keep on encouraging me to go on, keep on moving and keep on dreaming. They reminded me that my parents will never be happy if I am always crying. They keep on reminding me the right direction. Myself,  it was a decision. A decision that I am happy I made it, I have to love myself. I decided that I cannot continue on mourning. I still have a life to live. My parents have dreams for me and they will not be happy if I will neglect what they have working hard for me.

Life is unpredictable. There are sudden turns of events that we do not want to accept. Adversaries are all in the corner, we won’t know when we will meet them. We just need to be ready and armoured with faith.

This post is meant to inspire people and I hope it made an impact.

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